Dream you’re mine

The journey from miscarriage to whatever comes next

Still in labor and delivery August 13, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — agplatters @ 10:43 pm
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Looks like I’m staying until the 24 hour urine test is complete and they will decide from there on next steps.  It is pretty uneventful.  They check my bp multiple times a day and monitor the baby, who is doing great, a couple of times.  Hopefully I’ll get to go home tomorrow.  I’d much prefer that somebody says either I’m here until delivery or I’m going home to bedrest….I deal much better with something concrete than limbo land.  Oh well.  I have even more respect now for women who are stuck on bedrest, both at home or in the hospital, for months at a time.  I cannot imagine!

So after my internal last night, I had a fair amount of bright red blood with clots.  It reminded me of the early stages of miscarriages.  And I had a lot of cramping down low.  I think I’ve dilated further.  Earlier in the week, I was having pressure and similar sensations to when I miscarried in my vaginal area, so I had mentioned to my husband that I thought I was dilating.  I also thought I lost a small amount of mucus plug.  Well, I think I just lost quite a bit more.  My guess is this baby is coming in a week or two.  And that is ok.  Of course I want him to be in there as long as possible and be healthy, but I also trust my body and his.  These signs that things are moving towards him being on the outside are telling me to put my faith in accepting what comes and it will be ok.  Since I’ll be 35 weeks tomorrow, it is much easier to accept it and be at peace with whatever is about to come our way.


At the hospital

So I’ve spent the past 15 hours at the hospital.  The original reason was because I had a second day of a headache, even with the meds for high bp.  So they had me come in for an assessment.  The good news is baby looks great–he passed all of his tests fabulously!  The not so good news is that my bp was still high, even with a lot of just lying around, and my headache wasn’t going away.  But my labs came back fine and I still don’t have pre-e.

So after about 5 hrs, they decided to admit me for observations and possibly induction.  They checked my cervix last night and I’m 2 cm dilated, 50% effaced and baby is at station -1.  I think he’s advanced since then, as I had quite a bit of cramping afterwards.  The doc was pretty surprised that he was so low and views that as my body’s way of preparing and knowing what it needs to do.  So it is a little scary that he could show up on the eve of 35w, but I’m at peace with it if it is healthier to have him out than to have him inside my body.  I feel like a ticking time bomb!

If I go home today, I’ll be on bedrest and he’ll probably make his grand entrance within the next two weeks.  I was just telling a work friend yesterday that I feel he’ll be here in August, although my guts say around the 27th-28th.  I was also telling hubby earlier this week that I felt him lower and like I was dilating.  When I reminded him of that last night, he said “that sounds somewhat familiar, but I wasn’t actually listening.”  Hee hee.  He’s been great since I’ve been here.  I hope he’s getting some decent sleep on that pullout bed.


34 weeks August 8, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — agplatters @ 3:57 pm
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I had the first non-stress test (NST) and amniotic fluid check (AFI) this week.  All went well with the big guy.  The AFI was almost 13.  I do have to up my dosage of bp meds as they did several readings and a couple were coming in at 90-92 for the second number.  So that is ok, since I was on the lowest dose possible and she had warned me that I might have to increase the meds along the way.  I did find out more about induction plans.  My doc likes to start with cyrotec (sp?), which is an off-label use, but it ripens the cervix and results in more natural contractions.  Unfortunately, because of my bp, I will have to be on monitors the whole time I’m in labor at the hospital.  That means no walking or birthing tub.  So that is disappointing.

He does seem to have dropped this week.  I’m breathing better and the acid reflux is much better.  I’ve had some pains and pressure in the cervical area.  Plus I felt some contractions earlier this week!  Overall, I still feel really good.  I haven’t been experiencing low back or hip pain that make so many women uncomfortable.

On a bit of a sad note, it was a year ago today that my baby girl stopped growing (m/c #4), although I didn’t find out until several weeks later.  The reason this is etched into my brain is because it is also the day my niece was born.  Every mention of her makes me think of my little girl and there is just a dull sadness there.  It feels really lonely too, because I can’t talk to my family about it.  They can’t know what this day that they celebrate means to me.  And I know I need to surround this little guy who is rolling around in there with positive thoughts and feelings, so hubby and friends will just tell me that.  So today I’m going to work on some things around the house, get my hair cut, pick up a few things at a natural baby store and have a date night with my hubby.

Here is my 34 week belly….

34 weeks