Dream you’re mine

The journey from miscarriage to whatever comes next

Big news! April 1, 2009

We have officially closed on the sale of our old house! Yea for only owning one house!! We had been paying for two since Oct…and although it was all part of our plan, it still is not fun to spend that much money each month. I celebrated with a root beer, ’cause I’m CRAZY like that.

We also now have a stroller sitting in our living room. We got the BOB revolution in mesa orange and hubs got a great deal through his PT job at the bike shop–almost 40% off! And my first order of cloth diapers comes today. I bought some used kissaluvs, which I’ll probably just supplement with a trial in the beginning. This is the extent of our baby purchases so far and no plans to purchase anything else anytime soon.

I am really struggling with how to tell people at work. Monday was the day I was going to do it, but every time I thought of uttering the words to my co-workers, I felt like I’d have a panic attack. There is just a part of me that feels like I’ll curse this pregnancy by saying anything, which is completely ridiculous and paranoid. One did ask me yesterday, so I’m thinking they will all just figure it out, huh?

And then there is my mom….I swear, she does not think before anything comes out of her mouth. She asks me yesterday if I’m nauseous. I say “I never have been. Why would that start now?” Her response? “You are so lucky.” (The beauty of being 39 is that I feel completely justified in calling her out for saying something stupid!) So I say “Lucky isn’t a word that should be used in relation to me and pregnancy. I’d gladly have puked my guts out to not have gone through everything I’ve been through.” Geez. I still can’t believe she said that!


4 Responses to “Big news!”

  1. Kimberly Says:

    First off, let me say that I am a long-time (albeit silent) reader and have been not only thrilled to watch your progress in this pregnancy but more aptly, thrilled to note what seems to be an increasing level of comfort/confidence with each passing post.

    As far as your co-workers, you’ll tell people when you’re good -n- ready! If it IS in fact ridiculous and paranoid to avoid telling, so what! People say idiotic things even when they mean to be cute.

    I am now in the early stages of my third pregnancy in the space of a year (losses at 7.5 and 9.5 weeks) – sitting absolutely on pins and needles (do my boobs hurt? I don’t know…maybe they don’t hurt. Is that a cramp? I feel weird…now, I DON’T feel weird and what does THAT mean). Everyone (who knows that I’m pregnant) tells me ˝oh, everything will be fine.˝ I don’t need to tell you that those intuitions don’t exactly bathe one in relief after losses.

    I think you’ll know when the time is right to tell. It’s not jinxing anything. I guess it’s a control thing.

  2. Michele Says:

    People dont think. It sucks. I’ve heard that “you are lucky” comment during different things of pregnancy too. Now, I’m to the point where I just try to smile and ignore it, but I want to say. “Wow- having buried three babies and having lost three more to miscarriage…. You’re right! I’m very lucky! I should play the lottery!”

    I try to remember that, before losing children, we probably all said dumb things too. But it still hurts and bothers me.

  3. Emily Says:

    I am so happy that things are going well for you! And yeah for only owning one house! I agree that people who haven’t gone through this pain themselves may say stupid things…..I am sure I did too. Again, I am so happy things are going well! 🙂

  4. meinsideout Says:

    congrats on the house – I know how stressful that is. I am so happy for you!!!

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