I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas or other holidays you celebrate! May they be filled with people you love, happy memories and lots of delicious food!
My head keeps spinning, thinking of last Christmas eve. I cried at church looking around at all the cute babies. I was pregnant for the second time, about 10 weeks along, and kept thinking that we’d be bringing our baby to church this year. Four more losses certainly didn’t seem fathomable. Then my brother and sister-in-law called that night to say they were pregnant and due a week after me. Man, was I PISSED! They already had a baby under one and this was supposed to be my chance, especially since I already had one loss. So now it is Christmas eve again and I don’t have a baby and I have to be around their baby.
I’m trying to focus on the positive. Well, I guess it is actually the morbid, since I’m thinking we don’t know how many Christmases we’ll still have with our entire family. Our parents are getting older and I do have brothers who are a fireman and a soldier. I’m going to try to make the best of it.
I’ll be thinking of all of you and hoping that 2009 is a much better year!