Dream you’re mine

The journey from miscarriage to whatever comes next

Scrambled eggs=fried brain? September 23, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — agplatters @ 2:24 am

I don’t know if my eggs are scrambled, but something feels mixed up after this many miscarriages.  And now it is affecting my brain.  All I can think about is sex.  Ok, I also think about food, the dog, work and houses.  But after months of not wanting anything to do with sex, now I WANT it and I think there is some sick, twisted part of my brain that is egging me on….”come on, just get pregnant again.  You know you can.  You can be pregnant all the time!”  

Seriously.  What the hell is wrong with me?!?  

Miscarriage has complicated sex.  Either I’m recuperating from a miscarriage and don’t want it because it leads to another miscarriage.  Or I do want it once the hope kicks in and I think this time it will be different due to some “voodoo medicine” like progesterone or levothyroxine.  (No offense to those using either for legitimate reasons, but mine were basically “it can’t hurt.”)  And then when I do get pregnant, hands off!  Not only am I tired, but sex leads to spotting, and then I’m a whole lotta crazy.  So it has been a year of sex being about everything BUT wanting to be with my husband.

So now I want sex.  And it is a whole different level of desperation, derangement and possibly delusion.  

Hee hee…I wonder if folks will stumble across this expecting something a little more graphic and risque?  Sorry to disappoint.

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