Today we close on the new house–bigger, quieter street and “ours” instead of “my house” or “his house.” That is why I find myself awake at 3 am. Well, that and the fact that I wake up every night to pee.
I’m scared. It is exciting and will be really cool once we get settled, but I’m second guessing if this is the right decision, nervous about the finances with two homes and wondering how long it will take to sell ours. I worry about my feet slipping out from under me on the stairs. I have completely irrational fears about sleeping on a second level, like the house is going to crumble beneath us. Where is everything going to go? What should I do with paint colors and window treatments? Should we use low/no VOC paints? Which room should be the nursery? How am I going to balance all the things I want to get for the house against all the reality of cost? My mind is just racing.
It is frustrating too, because I want to push up my sleeves and start working. I’m your typical first born, only daughter, Capricorn type and have a hard time accepting help. I want to move boxes. I want to paint. All it seems like I can really do is wait for boxes to show up and then unpack them. And then go back to the house to pack up more stuff that somebody else will have to move, which won’t be on my schedule.
Ok, I gotta get some more sleep.