My clinic set up an appointment tomorrow for an ultrasound and discussion with the doctor. I’m glad they were able to get me in, but I’m dreading going to another ultrasound where it isn’t something to be excited about doing. I’m tired of seeing all those pregnant bellies in the waiting room and hear strangers talking excitedly, mothers telling mothers-to-be what an experience they have to look forward to. I’m tired of having all the future visits outlined for me, hearing about the 20 week ultrasound and being filled with doubt that I’ll ever be there.
After the third miscarriage and all the testing, the doc said it is chromosomal and we just need to keep trying, that eventually we’ll get a healthy egg and sperm. I can’t keep doing what has failed. That just doesn’t make sense to me. I think it may be time to switch to an RE.
I know I sound like I’ve given up hope for this baby. I’m trying hard not to, but I want to be realistic too. And my reality is that I’m still spotting red, my symptoms are barely there and my cervix feels low and open.