First off, the good news. I’m 99 days out from my due date–not that it really means much, but still a fun milestone. Then we got our first CSA box this eve and had lots of yummy food for dinner.
Now, the bad news. Work sucks ass. My boss is too busy with his own stuff to provide any support or direction. Layoffs are happening in July and I know which employee from my team is being laid off, so that is always fun to act like business as usual when you know it isn’t that way. Then every couple of days, small, random layoffs occur throughout the company. Any “decision” that is made is flip flopped within a matter of days. (A week ago I was told that one of my employees needed to focus on only business tasks and hand off all tool development to IS, including taking away her security to do this. We had a painful conversation, she’s been completely whiny and high maintenance since then because she doesn’t like the decision and today I’m told to have her go back to doing development work too. Gee, thanks for flip flopping, putting me through all this crap in the last week and making me look like an incompetent manager.)
Morale is horrible. I’m already trying to exercise daily, including yoga a couple of times a week. I try to tell myself to just let it go and take deep breaths. Besides being a dessert-aholic, I generally eat pretty well. But how is my body reacting? Today my BP was 157/101 at work. So I’m going to be monitoring that over the next week or two and discussing with my OB. At home it was 128/84, so almost normal and pretty good considering I’m still going to have a little stress from dealing with work all day. I don’t know what else to do–I can’t change what is happening there and am trying to change how I react. The thought of going back tomorrow makes me want to bawl. I feel so helpless right now!
